An intruder without warning

I thank God I am not you!
I’m ecstatic that I don’t let people into my life so easily,
Giving them a chance to help me heal,
Trusting them, believing they would not hurt me.
I couldn’t be like you… so full of pleasant surprises
and not expecting anything back.

Why did you hope that you would be loved by someone
even when the rest of the world turned their back on you?
Where is your mind, stupid?
And why did you ever think that you wouldn’t be betrayed
by the ones you trusted?

You should have believed in the crash from your dream
when you know that every other ones came true.
Why, but why didn’t you put your intuition on the first place?
You opened the door to ruin yourself again!

Can’t you see?
Your eyes are green, humans are cruel,
They laugh now, when you can’t find your solace.
Your smile is an absconder that holds every thread of your reliance
And your words searching comfort, lifting emotions,
sharing thoughts have been muted without a warning.

How could you…
Just how could you…breathe?
Don’t you know it costs?
Your heart is weeping and begging for nothing in sight.
It just wants you to ignore it and not cry!
Stop crying!
Stop living!
Stop the Universe, you want to…not be
Remember?
And still you took a piece of life
to embrace the attempt to make someone joyful.

So tell me about the present you received yesterday.
I heard it was gorgeous.
Did it look something like:
“Everything breaking you apart?”
It’s the best you got until now.
Be happy!

Thank God I am not you!
I am cruel for saying it but:
What doesn’t kill you…
makes you weaker until you die.
And where’s your reason not to?

However find another way to disappear
for the earth can’t break and let you to get off.
The only way is up and down again
Still this time you went too far
You let your heart love unconditionally
And now you’re just an intruder.

Just… how can you…
How can I be you???

Wednesday, February 04, 2009
3:34:17 AM