Personal thoughts VI…

Is a dark night … outside!
I miss so much the night that once I felt. The artificial room puts me under interrogatory. I am the convict that hardly waits to be executed to the wall of hope. They keep me under the yellow shivering of a light bulb, maybe inoffensive and I search for the jury men with my unloaded look – the ideas hang on by the thoughts and hear that I could find them where there is no peace, or maybe where there is no light.
How knavish the time can be – it gives you a high respite for humanity existence, so the correct answer can be found out only after some mad seconds.
Yes, I think that I’ve found them.
I’ll turn off the light and I’ll see if the processed ideas are really true. I pushed the button and … I can’t see anything; what’s happening?
What infamy, these ideas are very impolite. Shame on you!!!
Wait! Wait a little! I think I see something. Yes, there’s something out there.
Now I remember – is not ideas’ fault, but the eyes woke up later.
I crushed something, something pinched me. I think that there are some walls in front of my way to the window.
I found it!!!
[…] as I stayed and watched, the juries were starring from somewhere up.
I couldn’t see their faces, only their eyes.
Their shiny eyes were burning the flesh of my soul. I could feel how we all were looking straight and it was a confrontation of watching, that finally one of us should be the winner.
I had no chance, their look blinded mine. Finally the verdict was ready.
I could hear them pronouncing my fate: “You’re condemned to dark, to memories and torments of love; and you’ll be cursed that each night you’ll look into our eyes, so you’ll be blinded by hope”.
These were the whispers I felt annoying my ears.
They were continuously screaming inside my skull and it was like the whispers wanted to escape and to smother me. I could hear them never stopped.
Now after thousands of reincarnations I write these words sent by my ancestors who join me in a way or another, because I haven’t taken another punishment.
Is night … inside of me!